Double Standard

Let me start off by saying that I do think Ben is an excellent Dad. I really do.

Lately, though, it seems that he gets a lot of credit for being a great Dad, with no consideration for the fact that he is just half of this parenting team we have at this house.

Let me explain my frustration. A few weeks ago, both of us posted on Facebook that we were thrilled that Ben had been able to get tickets for a particular event that must remain nameless here since it will be a surprise. After this posting, most comments were about what a wonderful Dad Ben was for getting those tickets. True, but without me it would never have happened. I was the one who saw the particular act was coming to Columbus, checked dates, found out when tickets went on sale, etc. I asked Ben to do the actual purchasing of tickets becuase that falls under his expertise more than mine. But I did make sure he was out of bed on time and planned our morning around his being able to purchase these tickets. Essentially, all he did was the actual ordering (which was time consuming and frustrating), and I did all the behnd the scenes work. But he gets credit as being a great Dad, and I get none.

This week we have been trying to take the kids somewhere each day to keep them entertained during spring break but not go broke in the meantime. Tuesday we went to the Columbus Art Muesum, yesterday bowling, and today Ben took them swimming at the Dublin Rec Center. Planning these events were a team effort. I didn't go swimming today - I have a hair appointment this afternoon. Ben is apparently "such a great Dad" for taking his two children swimming. I am not a "great mother" for staying with them all yesterday afternoon so the great Dad could have some time off and golf with a friend.

Ben and I both work. We knew years ago (wow, almost 10 years) in order for this to work out, we both had to be equally involved in the housework and the raising of the children. And most of the time, it works out really well for us. But not without lots of planning and communication. And I guess it is annoying that Ben gets credit for doing his share, but my share, because I'm Mom, is just part of my unappreciated job.

Are these just a few comments from people with uninvolved husbands, or is this really a very sad commentary on our society? Because I don't think spending an afternoon with his kids should be so rare that it give one "great Dad" status.