Band Beginner

Maria started fifth grade this year. Which means she also started band. This is Ben's 17th year teaching band at Fairbanks, and so it's a little weird for him to have Maria in his class this year. Good, but weird. I'm sure he'll get used to it.

Maria picked the flute to play, which has been her choice for about a year or so now. And she's had over 4 years of piano, so she'll be ahead in some areas. So far she seems to be doing great.

Out of 75 or so kids in the 5th grade, 50 joined band. That's Ben's largest beginning group ever. And we don't know if it's just a really great year (her class is supposed to be very good academically) or if Maria's Dad being the teacher has something to do with it. Even though we know not all of those kids will continue, a group this large does look promising.

The Forgotten Fifth Graders

I'm going to have to give a little history in order for this post to make sense. If you know it, bear with me - I'll try to make it brief.

Several years ago, our school district failed the first try at a bond issue to replace our elementary school that was built in 1914 and was literally falling down (really, bricks were falling off the front of the building and there was a scaffolding around the entrances so bricks would not fall on children entering and exiting the building). Even though the building was badly needed, the public voted down the levy, feeling there were too many perks that we didn't need - like an auditorium (even though our district doesn't have one) and a gym with bleachers so that games could be played there. So the superintendent had a building designed that was bare bones and just big enough, because the public was telling him they would vote for no "extras," including room for growth.

So that's what we got. And don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful building, and I'm happy my children get to go there. But there are issues. Mainly caused by the second part of the promise to the public which was that the 5th grade, at the time part of the middle school, would become part of the elementary, not the middle school. Most people felt that 5th grade was too young to be around Jr. high kids. And they did build three fifth grade classrooms in the new elementary.

Since we moved to the new school over Thanksgiving last year, the current 5th graders stayed in the middle school, and this year's 5th graders are the first ones to be a part of the elementary building. Maria is part of this class.

I was very happy about her remaining in the elementary - mostly because she gets to spend more time in the new building, and I just think our elementary is a better run building than the middle school (and since Ben and I both work there, I think we have a pretty accurate idea of what's going on).

But I have to say as the year goes on I am very disappointed with how things have been handled. While they say the 5th grade is part of the elementary, they're not quite, and while I'm not sure the kids notice, they're not really getting the educational experience they should be getting. They aren't fully a part of the elementary or the middle school. And it's because of poor planning on the part of the administrators, even though they've known this change was coming for 3 years.

Here's some of the problems:

1. Specials (gym, art, music): Because the administration wanted to keep the current middle school teachers for art, gym and music, the 5th graders have their special class each day in the middle school building. Even though the special classrooms are open at that time at the elementary. Apparently it's easier to move 75 kids across the parking lots each day than it is to move three teachers. So the kids get off their bus at the middle school, go to their special class, and then walk as a class over to the elementary. Even in the rain. And snow. I'm mad and the bad weather hasn't even started yet. And they have different special teachers than the rest of the elementary school, which separates them, especially if there are any types of school-wide themes. They're left out.

2. Instead of making the 3/4 guidance counselor full time and covering the 5th grade, they've made the former high school guidance counselor, and current government teacher, the 5th grade guidance counselor. She only handles the 5th grade. For one period a day. If a kid needs counseling during any other part of the day, they're out of luck. And again, since the kids are handled by different people the counselors have to make a point to include the 5th grade in any school-wide themes or projects. Since the 5th grade counselor is dedicated, though, she makes it happen.

3. Band. Fifth graders just started band. Ben teaches band, and goes over every day, carrying a different instrument. He's in a tutoring room, which he had to really find almost on his own, and his fully equipped band room goes unused during that period. I am glad they don't make the band kids walk over to the high school, though. Still, if band was going to be taught there, a proper room would have been nice.

4. Schedule. I just learned today that on Tuesdays, Maria only gets 15 minutes of Science because they have to go to the library on Tuesdays during the other half hour. Once a week, they're cutting instructional time, in an OAT tested class, by 30 minutes so kids can take 30 entire minutes to pick out reading books. Now I do think it's important for kids to pick out reading books, but not during science class. You know most of that time is being wasted - very few kids take 30 minutes to pick out a book, especially when they go back every week. Another scheduling mess that could have been avoided with some forethought and planning.

I'm sure there are other things I can't even think of right now. But the good news, none of this seems to bother Maria (or probably any of the other kids either). But I wonder how long it'll be before they decide things were really easier keeping the 5th grade as part of the middle school. And then I'll be mad that Maria was part of the guinea pig group.

Interim Reports

Wednesday the kids got their first interims of the year. And if I were counting, I could mention that it means the year is 1/8 of the way over. But who's counting?

Seriously, though, we are very pleased and proud. Maria continues to excel, and Sam is doing awesome as well. So glad that he is adjusting well to first grade. We tried to discuss it with Sam, and let him know how good it is and how proud we are, but I'm never sure how much attention he is paying us. He did get upset earlier this week when he and I went over some missed questions on his very first math test. I thought I was being very gentle, but he felt bad and broke down and cried and said "I'm sorry I did so bad." And of course I have felt incredible guilt ever since. (I still feel bad about when I made Maria cry over a math test when she was in first grade.) It was right before bedtime, though, and he was beat from soccer. And on the positive side, I didn't really have any idea he needed to please us with good grades so badly. So it was nice to know he cared. But it is certainly an experience I don't wish to repeat!

Maria's Surprise for Sam

Maria spent over an hour working on this while Sam was a boy scouts, and by the time Sam came home, it was dark. But we took him out with a flashlight to see it. Which was fortunate, since even though it has hardly rained here in the past month, we did have a long soaking rain last night that washed away the artwork.

Birthday Surprise!

We haven't had pets in this house since our last fish, Katie, died and joined so many of her tank buddies had died months before. We emptied the fish tank and put it away when that happened - after almost a year of struggling with multiple problems, which we think the root of had something to do with our water, we were done. What's the point of having a fish tank if you can never see the fish? And I don't even want to think about the money we poured into that project.

But the kids still wanted to have a pet. They decided on a turtle, I'm not sure why. So I started to do some research, and found that a better choice for us may be hermit crabs. Turtles come with more potential problems, like many live in water (so we'd be back to where we were with the fish tank), some carry salmonella, and they're not all that friendly - they bite and are fast. So the kids wouldn't be able to handle them much. And if the turtles do well, they could live 20 or more years, and while chances of a pet living in this house making it that long are slim, I'm pretty sure the kids don't have a 20 year attention span for a turtle. And I have no desire to be a turtle owner long after they have left the house.

Hermit crabs, on the other hand, are fairly easy to take care of. The kids can handle them some, and the cage should be fairly easy to clean (at least easier than a water change in the fish tank). Plus they love their pretty shells. So I did some research both at home and in the pet store, and talked the kids into having them as pets instead of turtles (at least for now).

So then it was a question of when we would get the crabs. About a month ago I had the idea of surprising Sam on his actual birthday, since the party and presents would take place the Saturday before his Tuesday birthday. And we knew we wanted to get Maria one too, so hers is a reward for doing so well on her OAT's. And every time in the last few weeks Sam would ask, "Do you know when we're going to get our hermit crabs?" and I'd say "I know, but I can't tell you." And he would get a little mad that I wouldn't tell him.

But even so, the kids had no idea where we were headed right after school yesterday until we were almost there, and the only real choices were either Wal-Mart or Jack's Aquarium. And we had a decent salesmen who talked directly to the kids about how to care for their crabs and showed them how to handle them. Plus the crabs have a 30 day guarantee, which means they'll probably live for 31 days.

Maria and Sam helped set up the terrarium, and they both like to squirt the crabs too (the crabs breathe through gills and so have to be squirted with water a few times a day. Sam named his crab "Sheldon," and Maria named hers "Larry." Larry has a red shell and Sheldon has a baseball shell. So far Larry is by far the more active crab, climbing the walls of the terrarium quite a bit. That's why there is a better picture of Larry than of Sheldon - Sheldon will peak out of his shell, then retreat back in before you can get back with the camera.

Sam's 7th Birthday Party!

Saturday was Sam's birthday party. We started with a kid party at the pool at the Dublin Rec Center, where there was a total of 12 kids including friends from school and family friends. The kids got to swim for two sessions and then have cake and watch Sam open his presents. We were very pleased with how easy the party was and the kids seemed to have a great time.

After the kid party, we returned home for a family party with dinner and, of course, more gifts. Both sets of grandparents were here, along with my sister and family, and the Smiths and the Caseys. After a dinner of Benny's pizza (Sam's choice) and ice cream sundaes, the kids had a blast running around outside while the adults enjoyed talking and visiting.

Both parties had a Legos theme, which was evident in the decorations as well as the gifts that many people got for him - we had a few repeats that will have to go back to the store. And I realized I have never coached Sam on correct etiquette if he opens a gift he already has - hopefully he didn't seem too rude when he yelled "I already have this." It's just not something I ever thought about discussing with him. Favorite gifts included K'Nex roller coasters and Power Miner Lego sets, in addition to a new Wii and Nintendo DS game. He also got a stuffed Sonic that he had been wanting, and sleeps with it every night. That's my favorite gift, because it reminds me he's still my little boy, at least at bedtime.

Big thanks to everyone who helped on Saturday, including Lisa who helped in the kitchen, Ben's parents who made the emergency run for the forgotten cake candles, and my parents who helped with numerous projects on both Friday evening and Saturday. It was a great weekend, but we couldn't have done it without all of the help!

Too Busy to Post

I haven't posted in almost a week, not because there's nothing to post but because things have been crazy busy this past week. I think our regular weeks provide just enough activities that keep our children active and well-rounded, but when you add a few extras, the week can become a carefully planned series of events that don't really allow the four of us to be together as a family. On top of that we're busy getting ready for Sam's birthday parties tomorrow - friend party at Dublin Rec Center, then a family party at home. My parents are arriving tonight to spend two nights for the festivities as well. So I posted some cute pictures of the kids at Miami Alumni weekend that we just received in an e-mail from the Hummels, and hopefully they will carry over until I have time to write a real post.

Way Off

Several days ago Sam was telling me about a new Nintendo DS game coming out soon that he would like. He said, "Except, Mom, it's called "Mario and Luigi: The Inside Story" and I don't know what that means. So I told him "inside story" sometimes means part of the story that most people don't know, so it was probably how Bowser met Mario and Luigi or something like that.

Turns out I was way off, as I learned yesterday when we were in Game Stop. In this particular game, Bowser inhales Mario and Luigi and the entire game is Mario and Luigi actually INSIDE Bowser. I am so unimaginative, and I think Sam may have lost some confidence in my ability to answer his endless questions!

Delay of Game

Sam's soccer game this morning: beautiful day, team is lined up, ready to go, and we have a real referee today, which is a nice surprise. But just as the game is about to start, someone on our team is holding his mouth and talking to the referee. I, of course, am thinking, "Please don't let that problem child holding up the game be my kid." But it was, and the referee called, "We have a lost tooth!" So I went onto the field to take possession of the prized tooth, and the game got under way.

This is a bottom tooth this time, but if you're keeping track, he lost a top tooth Thursday. I think the tooth fairy is going to need a break soon!

And in case you're wondering how the game turned out, we won, 6-3, and Sam scored goal #6.

Maria's OAT Scores

We finally officially received Maria's Ohio Achievement Test scores yesterday. I say "finally" because the school has had them since the middle of the summer, and we've been in school for three weeks. She took these tests in May of her 4th grade year.

And I don't want to state the obvious, but notice the perfect writing score. Perfect. I'm not as familiar with the OAT as the 10th grade OGT which I prepare students for, but I do know that perfects are fairly rare in that test. She's pretty proud of herself, and we're proud of her. We keep emphasizing how her hard work will keep paying off. And recently she decided she'd like to attend Miami, and while it's way too early to make a decision like that, she's definitely on the right path.

You can click on the image if you need to make it bigger.

A Fine Line

I've been a high school teacher for 16 years. I've been a parent for 10 years, and for the last 5 at least one of my children attends school in the same district in which I teach. And it's a small district.

It was never really the master plan, that I would teach where my children went to school. Fourteen years ago Ben and I bought our house in the Fairbanks district, where Ben had been band director for 2 years at that time. I drove a half hour away to teach at Ben Logan. At the time, neither of us were certain of anything, really - if we would stay at our jobs forever, if we would stay in that house forever, or even if we would be able to have children later on.

When Maria was born, we knew we loved where we lived, we knew Ben was very happy at Fairbanks, and I grew to have more and more respect for the quality of education here. I always thought I would continue to teach at Ben Logan. But things change, and it was sometimes difficult to be a half hour away form where my child was, especially with Ben's schedule during some times of the year. When an opportunity to teach at Fairbanks opened up, I interviewed and was thrilled to change to jobs. Not only was it closer to home, it was just a better school district.

When Maria started school, we were very pleased with the education she received at the elementary. And our being teachers in the other building didn't seem to be a problem at all - even made logistics of getting her to and from school so much easier. But as she (and Sam) grow older, they may not like having parents in the same building. Ben and I have already discussed at length how we are going to need to handle things to keep them as much like normal kids as we can. And we've watched many of our colleagues have their own children in their classes and have learned form their experiences.

But one facet of being a parent and a teacher in the same district that I never thought much about is the relationship I have with my children's teachers. If I have a conflict with them, it won't go away when the school year is over - I will have to work with these people for many more years. And so I try not to make a big deal out of things (a lesson I had to learn the hard way with a hand writing grade with Maria's second grade teacher) unless I really think the issue needs to be addressed. Even though I have good kids, who don't really have many issues, it's still difficult. When I let things go, so I'm not a pain in the ass parent, I always wonder if I'm being fair to my own children. And my perspective is warped, since I teach high school kids, who have completely different problems than young children.

So I struggled yesterday over writing a note to Sam's teacher about something I wasn't sure was a big deal or not, but wanted to get to the bottom of it before it turned into a big deal.

Sam brought home a paper Wednesday that he had drawn pictures on the bottom of, after he had completed the writing assignment. The teacher had written "Do not draw on your paper." Sam always drew on kindergarten papers and it was never a problem - he had no idea he was doing anything wrong. So I pointed it out to Sam, and asked him to try not to do that. But at the same time I was thinking, "What harm does it do?" And if he can't draw in his spare time, he may find something else to do that will be more disruptive to others. I'm a doodler too, and it really helps me to get through teacher meetings!

So I mentioned it to Ben after the kids were in bed, and he was more upset than I was. His anger was more of a "she's stifling his creativity" standpoint. So I brought it up at lunch Thursday, just to see what others thought - was this a problem or not. And one teacher mentioned reading articles on how doodling during class actually helps concentration and prevents daydreaming, which is one of Sam's problems in school. So later I googled that and found several studies myself with the same result: Doodling increases concentration and should not be forbidden in the classroom.

Now, a real pain in the ass mother would forward those studies to the teacher. I wouldn't do that, but reading them did give me the courage to e-mail the teacher and ask for specific rules about drawing on the paper. And I presented it from the standpoint of just "wanting to be clear on your rules so I can reinforce them at home." I also wanted to be sure Sam wasn't drawing when he was supposed to be doing something else.

The response was good. She said that Sam is doing all of his work well, has been behaving, and even helps her in the classroom some. She said that sometimes she will allow the children to draw on the backs of their papers when they're done with their work. So I guess Sam just needs to learn when it's OK and when it's not.

And I also need to learn when it's OK to bug a teacher about my child and when it's not. I do think I made the right decision yesterday, but will I the next time?

Another One Gone

Yesterday Sam lost his other front top tooth. He lost the first one at the very end of the school year, and the new tooth is almost finally in. This tooth had been loose for a while, and very loose the last week or so. Then it was doing that hanging to the side thing which looks so bad that you can't wait for it to fall out.

I knew it was bad when he had to bite his grilled cheese sandwich from the side of his mouth Tuesday evening, and it came out with his granola bar breakfast Wednesday morning. He was very excited and showed it off at school that morning. And the tooth fairy remembered to come even though it was a good 13 hours later after he lost the tooth that he went to bed!

And now it's official - when that new tooth grows in he will look like a big kid, and not my little boy anymore.

Labor Day Weekend at the Stullers'

We made our annual trip to Curtice Ohio for G.J. and Annette's Labor Day party. They have a great set-up for entertaining there, including a huge pond complete with 4-square raft, diving dock, and paddle boat, a trampoline, and lots of space for camping. The kids spent most of their time either in the pond or trampoline, and had fun playing with the other kids as well. Ben swam a little in the pond as well, but it was pretty cold. As usual, Annette had so much great food that I'm pretty certain I may have gained 5 pounds in 24 hours. The weather was perfect, although a little chilly for overnight camping, but as long as we stayed under the covers we were fine. The kids snuggled in their sleeping bags and were plenty warm.

We had such a great time, but we are exhausted. Thank goodness we have one more day this weekend to recover.

First Grade Transition

Sam is completing his 2nd week as a first grader, and we're pleased with how it seems to be going. Even though he has been at school all day for two years, the 2nd half of his day was always more like a Day Care with a lot of play time. Now he's in school the entire day. When Maria started first grade, I remember her coming home and sometimes falling asleep on the couch before dinner those first few weeks. But it was her first time being at school all day, she was younger, and there was no air conditioning at school, and I think all of those factors contributed to her exhaustion.

So I didn't really think I would notice much change in Sam at home, but thought his teacher might notice him having trouble staying focused while at school. And for the most part, the information I get from Sam is either "Yes" or "No" responses to my questions or random information that he feels is important (he and his friend Reed walk around all day saying "Hello Chap" with a British accent) but doesn't really help me at all. I figured no news was good news, until yesterday when I got an e-mail from his teacher yesterday stating "Just wanted to send you a good note about Sam. Yesterday was his best day in terms of behavior. I didn't have to redirect him once, so he had a great day."

I should just be happy with this and move on. But Ben and I both were left wondering how much "redirection" Sam required before that. But I resisted my urge to be the pain in the butt parent, and exclude myself from ever getting another note again, so I just responded with a Thank you and to keep us posted. then I made a big deal out of it to Sam but I'm not sure if he really cared or not.

Other than that, he seems to be doing great. Although he hasn't started homework yet - that starts next week. He did start having speech homework this week, however. I mentioned to the speech therapist about his "L" problem at the beginning of the year, and she said she would make a point to test him. Monday I got an e-mail stating that he does in fact have an "L" problem, but that it was not bad enough to require her services yet. So she gave us a huge packet of stuff to do - one page a night - and he gets rewards each week from her if he gets 5 stickers. And so far he has been very cooperative about doing it. We're going to make it part of his homework routine when that starts next week.

And he had his first piano lesson today, which I guess went pretty well. He didn't fight it, and the teacher said he did fine. We'll see how practicing goes this weekend.

Testing...and Testing...and Testing His Limits

First off, let me say again that raising our first child has been no help in the least in raising our second child. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Only it's worse because at least with the first child you know you have no idea what you're doing. By the second child, you think you know. Or you know you SHOULD know, which makes you feel like an idiot.

Anyway, lately Sam has been testing his limits. We feel pretty unprepared here, because Maria never argued with us like Sam does. And that phrase, "testing his limits," makes one feel that it's all a completely normal, slightly frustrating, phase that will pass and soon you will have an obedient pleasant child, if you can just make it through "testing his limits." It doesn't really get across how aliens have taken over your previously sweet child. How this behavior makes you so angry you feel like you would sell the child to the highest bidder (or any bidder, if there is one crazy enough to want him). How you feel intense waves of deja vu because you cannot believe you are having the same conversation again, and so soon after the last one.

The last several weeks having been trying, and it seems to have gotten worse since school started. Sam seems to like to argue about every single thing we ask him to do. Even things that he has had to do for years. Like drinking his cup of milk at dinner, which has been a rule since he could drink out of cups. He always starts out his defiance by asking "Why?" which we start off by answering truthfully: it's healthy, it makes you strong, blah blah, blah. But after having this argument so often, we loose patience mush faster and the conversation turns ugly much faster. He will then try to sneak out of the room without drinking it by running from the dinner table while he's still chewing his last bite of food. Then he argues because Ben or I will not bring the milk to him to drink it. And on and on. And it usually ends with us getting angry and Sam saying "You don't have to yell at me" like we're being completely unreasonable.

He pretty much refuses to do anything we ask, which is why it gets so exhausting. In the past 24 hours, he has refused to drink milk, pick up spilled cereal, turn off lights that he turned on, pick up toys, set the dinner table, and my favorite, putting on clean underwear.

Saturday I was doing the week's laundry and noticed that there were only 3 pairs of underwear for Sam, even though it had been a week since I had last done his laundry. And ever since then, it's been a fight to get him to put on clean underwear. Here's a small part of our discussion this morning:

Me: And don't forget to put on clean underwear.
Sam: Why do I have to put on clean underwear EVERY DAY?
Me: Because it's clean, and it's gross to wear dirty underwear.
Ben: And you'll smell if you don't.

We probably could have come up with better answers but this is not the first time we've had this discussion.

Sam: No one else has to wear clean underwear.

This is another one of his favorite points. Apparently he's the only little boy required to bathe, drink milk, clean up his toys, and wear clean underwear. No wonder he's so mad.

Me: You ask your friends then and if they're all wearing dirty underwear you can to.

Another not great response but these constant arguments just suck the life right out of me (and I know he won't do it).

So Sam goes into his room, and I go to the bathroom. When I come out, Sam is dressed and ready to go to school. But the clean underwear I have set out is still sitting on the floor.

Me: Did you change your underwear?
Sam: Yees... (with a smirk on his face)
Ben (or me, I forget): GO CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR.

And he did, because he knew he was at the end of our good humor. This evening, when he refused to come eat dinner with the rest of us so he could finish watching an episode of iCarly that I'm sure he's seen 20 times, we threatened to start taking money away from his allowance every time he argues with us when we ask him to do something. And that did get him moving, although he still carried his general attitude to the table.

And I think we may have found a possible solution to all of this arguing, because if there's one thing Sam likes, it's money.