I've been a high school teacher for 16 years. I've been a parent for 10 years, and for the last 5 at least one of my children attends school in the same district in which I teach. And it's a small district.
It was never really the master plan, that I would teach where my children went to school. Fourteen years ago Ben and I bought our house in the Fairbanks district, where Ben had been band director for 2 years at that time. I drove a half hour away to teach at Ben Logan. At the time, neither of us were certain of anything, really - if we would stay at our jobs forever, if we would stay in that house forever, or even if we would be able to have children later on.
When Maria was born, we knew we loved where we lived, we knew Ben was very happy at Fairbanks, and I grew to have more and more respect for the quality of education here. I always thought I would continue to teach at Ben Logan. But things change, and it was sometimes difficult to be a half hour away form where my child was, especially with Ben's schedule during some times of the year. When an opportunity to teach at Fairbanks opened up, I interviewed and was thrilled to change to jobs. Not only was it closer to home, it was just a better school district.
When Maria started school, we were very pleased with the education she received at the elementary. And our being teachers in the other building didn't seem to be a problem at all - even made logistics of getting her to and from school so much easier. But as she (and Sam) grow older, they may not like having parents in the same building. Ben and I have already discussed at length how we are going to need to handle things to keep them as much like normal kids as we can. And we've watched many of our colleagues have their own children in their classes and have learned form their experiences.
But one facet of being a parent and a teacher in the same district that I never thought much about is the relationship I have with my children's teachers. If I have a conflict with them, it won't go away when the school year is over - I will have to work with these people for many more years. And so I try not to make a big deal out of things (a lesson I had to learn the hard way with a hand writing grade with Maria's second grade teacher) unless I really think the issue needs to be addressed. Even though I have good kids, who don't really have many issues, it's still difficult. When I let things go, so I'm not a pain in the ass parent, I always wonder if I'm being fair to my own children. And my perspective is warped, since I teach high school kids, who have completely different problems than young children.
So I struggled yesterday over writing a note to Sam's teacher about something I wasn't sure was a big deal or not, but wanted to get to the bottom of it before it turned into a big deal.
Sam brought home a paper Wednesday that he had drawn pictures on the bottom of, after he had completed the writing assignment. The teacher had written "Do not draw on your paper." Sam always drew on kindergarten papers and it was never a problem - he had no idea he was doing anything wrong. So I pointed it out to Sam, and asked him to try not to do that. But at the same time I was thinking, "What harm does it do?" And if he can't draw in his spare time, he may find something else to do that will be more disruptive to others. I'm a doodler too, and it really helps me to get through teacher meetings!
So I mentioned it to Ben after the kids were in bed, and he was more upset than I was. His anger was more of a "she's stifling his creativity" standpoint. So I brought it up at lunch Thursday, just to see what others thought - was this a problem or not. And one teacher mentioned reading articles on how doodling during class actually helps concentration and prevents daydreaming, which is one of Sam's problems in school. So later I googled that and found several studies myself with the same result: Doodling increases concentration and should not be forbidden in the classroom.
Now, a real pain in the ass mother would forward those studies to the teacher. I wouldn't do that, but reading them did give me the courage to e-mail the teacher and ask for specific rules about drawing on the paper. And I presented it from the standpoint of just "wanting to be clear on your rules so I can reinforce them at home." I also wanted to be sure Sam wasn't drawing when he was supposed to be doing something else.
The response was good. She said that Sam is doing all of his work well, has been behaving, and even helps her in the classroom some. She said that sometimes she will allow the children to draw on the backs of their papers when they're done with their work. So I guess Sam just needs to learn when it's OK and when it's not.
And I also need to learn when it's OK to bug a teacher about my child and when it's not. I do think I made the right decision yesterday, but will I the next time?
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