Tonight I took Sam to his swim lesson. This is almost always Ben's job - I only fill in when Ben can't do it. I just don't like going to the Y - you always have to park a mile away, we have to go into a Family Locker Room since Sam and I are not the same sex - which is a hassle, and I don't feel like being social with other parents I don't know. I know that sounds terrible, but I can handle teenagers all day. After that, I just don't feel like pretending anymore - if I don't know you, I would rather you leave me alone.
But tonight Ben had his concert so I took Sam. He was excited I was going, which was surprising. But when we got there, his behavior was awful. And I've never heard Ben say that about him at swimming. The first time he got into trouble, he argued with Ms. Bethany - something about him getting blamed for something another little girl did (can't hear specifics with all the noise in the pool). After that, it was like he decided that he was going to be a pain. He kept splashing and having to be told not too. And he was also just a little wild and unfocused. I never know if the teacher wants me to get up and help or to leave her in charge. But whenever I got up to go over there, it seemed he would quit. And Sam wasn't the only one - the little girl next to him was sneaky and an instigator, but she was smart enough not to get caught.
When Sam got out of the pool I told him his swimming was good, but his behavior was not. I gave him the lecture about how he knows better, how I was very disappointed in him, and how if that happens next time we will have to take him out of the pool. He didn't really act like he cared at all - just kept going on being happy-go-lucky. But he knew I was mad - he didn't ask me to change off of XM radio and onto his Guitar Hero playlist, which he always does. Then about half way home, this little voice in the backseat said, "Please don't tell Daddy."
"Tell Daddy what?"
Pause.
"About me making bad choices." Ms Jan's preschool code for misbehaving.
"Are you going to start making better choices from now on?"
"I promise, I won't do it ever again."
So I ended with a "We'll see." I had already called Ben on my cell phone to vent - I guess Sam didn't notice that. But I may ask Ben not to say anything to him and we'll see if he does better next time without him having to step in. I just wish I understood why after all these swim lessons, he decided to not play by the rules today.
Update -
Tonight Sam told me that Brigit pushed him at swim lessons and he got in trouble for it. That's why he was "mad," and apparently decided to act out. I told him this still wasn't acceptable, but I will be watching this Brigit very closely next time. Sam also cuddled up with me when he talked about it - wanted to know that he was forgiven. So I feel better about the whole situation and am ready to let it drop.
Of course, then we played Sorry, I won, and he threw a 10 minutes - kicking - screaming - crying tantrum. He's always going to be stubborn - I just hope as he gets older he learns how to control it.
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